Jaundice
by 5applesonfire
Summary: Finn is alone. He is the only one who can save us all. That is... if he can stop us. We are the infected... the perfected... the yellowed...
1. Hello

A citrus scent is in the air. I flutter my eyes open, the room becoming less and less blurry. It's so bright. Must be day time.

I look around. The place is familiar. I've been here before. When Lady announced that she would be a mother, when PB was patching up Ice King with a new heart, when that stupid deer broke both my legs.

I'm in a clean white hospital bed, wrapped tightly in blankets and yellow chains. I try to wiggle myself out of them but there is a lock. I stare at it as if merely looking at it will melt the lock, setting me free. And then I remember that I'm in the Candy Kingdom Hospital. I gnaw at the chains but recoil immediately spitting out some kind of yellow substance, puckering my face at the sour taste. This isn't candy.

I feel groggy. I try to remember why I'm here. I must remember.

"The two of them are planning something." PB looks into my eyes.

"I need you to be alert Finn." She's so beautiful. I want to have her. I want to have her so bad. She has a concerned face on, not focused at all. She's thinking about something else. Someone else, maybe.

"You're job is warn everyone." She says in a harsh voice.

Jake is next to me. He says something but it's muffled. I can't make it out.

And I can't remember anything else. Finn, why can't you remember? I think to myself... by myself.

Jake is nowhere, so is PB. Marceline, even Ice King would be good company now. It's one thing to be tied up in a hospital with someone (perhaps even my captor) but it's another to be completely alone, not knowing at all what's going on.

The room has an eerie icteric light in the middle of the high ceiling. And I realize that it's not daytime. The windows are covered, concealing a dark night behind it.

"Hello?" I shout. My voice booms all around the halls of the building. Reaching all the rooms, all the hallways. No reply.

There are many obvious questions I should be asking. What am I doing here? Why am I tied up? Where is Jake?

I hear a rattling, coming from far down the hall, behind the privacy curtains. Maybe it's PB, maybe she can tell me what's going on. The rattling echoes throughout the halls. There is no one but the rattling and me. I can imagine that it's a cart. I now hear its squeaky wheels rolling on the white tile floor as it comes closer.

A new terrifying thought takes over my mind. I struggle to get out of the chains but they're too strong.

I need to leave.

I don't know want to know what the rattling is.

But it's coming closer, ever so closer.

I shut my eyes.

It just keeps coming closer and closer, forever and ever.

I'm still now.

Maybe if I'm silent, the rattling will go away. It's becoming unbearable, getting louder every second. I want to cover my ears but I can't get my arms out. I'm forced to hear it RATTLE, RATTLE, RATTLE…

I whimper. I'm not supposed to whimper. I am a man. I'm an adventurer. I've fought the monsters that would scare a child at night, the monsters that would haunt a child's dream, the monsters that would wake the child up to run to their parents, begging for a night in Mommy's bed. I am a child now. I want Mom to come rescue me. She'll rescue me from the rattling, I think with my eyes still shut tight. And the rattling stops.

"Hello, Finn the Human."


	2. Of The Lemon Kind

"Princess?" I say.

Blinking, she is silent. The Princess's hair is tied in a bun, a dark greenish yellow. She is taller, her posture straighter, her movements more cruel and rigid. I stare at her transformation but mostly at her nose, which has grown thinner and longer to a point. Her nose, like the rest of her body is a bright blinding yellow in the faded pale room. I hold my breath.

There is a small white box on the nurse cart beside her. I watch as she opens it, revealing a small test tube inside. A glowing yellow liquid swishes around inside it.

"Princess, what happened to you?" I ask. I'm not sure if she is the Princess anymore. Rather than answering, she peers into my eyes, as she did in my memories. But this time her eyes are cruel, cold, callous. As she holds the tube in her gloved hands, I hear a low chuckle.

"A _human_ lemon!" She exclaims loudly. The burst of sound travels all throughout the hospital but there is no one else but us to hear it.

"We've tested candy people, goblins, penguins… _dogs_… but not a human!"

"Princess—" I start to say but she cuts me off.

"My name is not Princess." She retorts, gritting her teeth.

"I am Lemongum." I'm silent as the love of my life pop the cap of the test tube.

"Jaundice 18. In its purest form." She says, shining it in the light, marveling at it. Meanwhile, I'm struggling to get free. Fruitlessly struggling, really.

"Don't bother. It's lemon rope." But I still squirm, twisting and turning, trying in every which way to escape.

"Allow me to demonstrate the effects of Jaundice 18..." She takes the privacy curtain to the right of me and whips it aside.

On the bed next to me, Cinnamon Bun is crying.

How could I not have noticed him? He must have been frozen with fear. Scared to move, petrified even to talk. He'd been listening. The reason for such terror must have been horrible, because he's letting it all out now. Every emotion he's ever kept in, every angry thought, every sad time, every scared moment, it's all coming out now, triggered by the swing of that curtain. He's sobbing, in his chains, tied up like me. He's lost the will to struggle. I wonder how I've been asleep.

"Please, Princess! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" He cries.

The Princess holds the test tube not at his head, but at his feet. One single drop touches his skin.

Cinnamon Bun screams in pain as his left foot turns a lambent yellow, much like the Princess's skin. The color spreads to both legs, traveling through the whole body, changing his shape too. She smiles at him.

"It's a really wonderful process, Finn." She glances at me, the boy terrified on the bed.

"You wouldn't understand the glory. At least…. not yet…"

The color is at his unrecognizable neck now. He's howling at the top of his lungs for help. I want to help him. I fight the impossible chains, I fight with all my might. If only I had my backpack. If only I had my sword. I can't save him. I know that. But I still wrestle in my bed for a chance to.

Now Cinnamon Bun has stopped his howling and screaming. It's almost as if he's asleep.

The Princess takes out a key from the pocket of her white nurse dress, unlocks the chains and pulls them off, revealing a new shape. His figure is now pronged at the head and pointed in between the legs. He is now of the lemon kind. A giant lemon.

Suddenly, his eyes open wide. He begins to mumble something. I can almost make out the words.

"Lemonbun... Lemonbun… Lemonbun…"

After springing up from the bed, he waddles off, murmuring his new name over and over. All the way down the hallway he murmurs.

"A human lemon shall be even more splendid." She whispers to me, looking into the last human with her new cold eyes.


	3. Hail Lord Lemongrab

"Lord Lemongrab will be most pleased."

She takes the tube, holding it over my body.

"How about the neck this time?"

"Princess! Please! I—" She cuts me off once again.

"I told you, little imp! I am Lemongum!" And with that, she pours the entire vile on my neck. As the coward I am, I scream like one, shutting my eyes.

* * *

I can feel myself turning yellow. I'll be just like Cinnamon Bun. The poor guy. He was innocent. An innocent civilian. I'm supposed to protect innocent civilians. I did nothing.

I hope they haven't gotten Jake. Well, he's already yellow, so I don't know if it'll make any difference.

I am lost in my thoughts of farewells and goodbyes. I say goodbye to Flame Princess. I say goodbye to BMO. I even say goodbye to Ice King, the nut.

SHATTER!

* * *

I open one eye and realize exactly how wrong, no, exactly how stupid I was. The Princess has dropped the vile, in shock. My chains have now been reduced to a pile of lemons. I look to my neck which still has one drop of Jaundice 18. It drips off as I scramble out of the bed, not having time to figure out what happened.

After taking the little white box on the cart and smashing one of the hospital windows with it, I leap through the new hole.

Meanwhile, the Princess is watching. I don't look back while I run, but I do hear her say something before she screams for security.

"Goodbye, Finn the Human."

* * *

I run as fast as I can, thinking about the Princess.

_She doesn't exist anymore, Finn_.

My eyes start to water. I loved her so much. More anyone else could've. She never even looked at me.

I suppose it doesn't matter anymore. She's gone.

I run for a while. I run wildly, like a madman. However there is no one in the streets to see me like this.

After some time, I'm not even sure I'm in the Candy Kingdom anymore. Slowing down to a walk, I notice exactly what Lemongrab's done with the place.

There are banners everywhere, some large enough to cover a house. Each say the same thing: "Hail Lord Lemongrab". The picture above is a lie, I think as I look at the thin version of him. The last time I saw Lemongrab he was bloated, eating constantly, every minute becoming bigger and rounder than his brother.

His brother… The unfortunate man was being eaten slowly. Last I remember, he was being swallowed, his evil twin forcing him down his throat. I'm not sure if he's still alive.

Reaching a fork in the road, I look all around. All the lights are off. Even the street lights. The houses have turned a sickly dark yellow, as with the rest of the candy people maybe.

I don't know what to do now. I've escaped, but now where will I go? I wander for what I think are hours. Something moves in the corner of my eye. Walking closer, I peer through the window of the house. No one.

WHAM!

* * *

"Finn!" He exclaims. His voice is muffled by a dark scarf wrapping around his neck. He's fully clothed in a large trench coat, turtleneck sweater, black sweatpants, and a hat that makes him look like a criminal. He's just run into me, rudely. But currently, I give a glob about rude.

The stranger looks at me weirdly, as if I've grown a second head.

"Oh my Glob, it's you, Finn!" He exclaims with a hug. Apparently, I must know him.

Puzzled, I say "Who are you?"

"I'll explain later, just come with me."

He tugs my arm, dragging me through the streets of the city. Looking behind me, I see yellow blobs through the fog. As they gallop through the haze, They get clearer and clearer. Lemon horses, with soldiers riding them. where there is a criminal, there are police.

So, I run. I run even faster than the convict. I run for my life.

Just as I'm reaching full speed, the cloaked stranger grabs me by the hand, plunging me into the dark, into a man hole.

It reeks of unmentionable items of the toilet. We are in the sewer. At least Lemongrab hasn't gotten to the subchannels underneath the city. Why would he? Ah, but it's the perfect hiding place. Perfectly, concealed. Right under his toes.

The masked criminal faces me, taking a torch out for the darkness of the tunnel we're in.

He tears off his trench coat, hat and scarf and turns on the flashlight, aiming it at his face.

"Finn… it's me."


	4. The Smell of Mint

"Peppermint Butler?"

Not answering, he walks swiftly down the long dark corridor carrying his torch. I run after him. You'd never know how fast he was with the little red legs he's got. As he surges far ahead of me, I try to catch up to him. He has the only light.

"I don't understand. What happened?" I ask, probably sounding idiotic and witless. He stops and looks at me, not as though I'm a dim little boy, but as though _he's_ confused.

"You really don't know do you?"

* * *

"Last year, the Earl of Lemongrab was working in his lab and he did it. He finally did it."

"Wait, last year? But… but-" He keeps looking at me. I just want to understand.

"Finn… one year ago, you were captured. Last I'd heard, you were dead." He resumes his brisk walking, as if in a rush. I can feel he's annoyed of me.

"As I was saying, the Earl of Lemongrab, he did it. But he didn't just do it; he did it well, _perfectly_ actually."

"DID. WHAT!?" Right now, _I'm_ feeling annoyed of him. I know I don't understand. I just want to know.

"What happened to the Princess?" Silence.

"What happened to her?" I shout so that he can hear me way in front.

"She… she's gone, Finn… The princess has been infected."

* * *

"Jaundice 18. The Earl of Lemongrab created Jaundice 18. A mutated form of jaundice that makes those that are infected with it, chemically similar to any organism. You just plop the DNA in. It's that simple."

"Obviously, he used his own DNA. Now instead of making more children… He's turning all of Ooo into one big happy family of lemons…"

We reach two large doors. He takes a key card out of his pocket and slips it into some kind of slot.

"Peppermint Butl—"

"That's Dr. Peppermint to you. And this…" He opens his arms welcoming me through the doors of a large white room. "…is the Lab."

* * *

"But I thought... I thought you toyed with the dark arts, you know with the Lich and stuff."

"Yes, well... times have changed. I am the only link between Science and Magic. I'm not even a real doctor. The name sounds nicer I guess. Since I'm not the Princess's butler anymore." He explains. It's confusing but I listen on.

"We've been calling everyone. Seeing if they're okay. Most have answered, but... it was not them who came to the phone."

"What about Flame Princess?"

"I'm afraid the Flame Kingdom has been doused..."

We pass five scientists, working with test tubes, mixing chemicals, experimenting with them. One concoction creates a puff of smoke. The scientists watch in awe, scribbling their observations down on a wooden clip board.

It's so bright in here, it even hurts my eyes a little. The white tile walls and floor only make it more fluorescent. The place isn't very clean though. A small man in a lab coat searches through a stack of papers. I step over a coffee stain on the floor that clearly needs some wiping up.

After much thought, I realize it's time to ask the question I was afraid to think about back in the hospital.

"Where's Jake?" He's gone quiet. I don't know what it is with Peppermint Butler, but he seems to be only telling me what I need to hear. And that's not enough.

"Peppermint but-"

"It's Dr. Peppermint.

"_Dr. Peppermint_," I say annoyed at the short round man walking in front of me. "Jake's my best friend. I just want to know what happened to him."

We stop in front a large door. Again he uses his key card and gains entry. I follow behind him. He stands in front of a large cage.

"Why don't you ask him for yourself?"


	5. Gumdrop Lady

I stared into the cage, at the little yellow box. It might've been able to fit into the palm of my hand. It must be a joke. Yes, a joke. Yes of course, a joke. It's obviously a joke.

"Haha, you got me! Now, where's Jake?" I laugh.

No one laughs with me. And Dr. Peppermint looks at me. How dare he do that. How dare he look at me. I tighten my fists. He did this, it must have been him… I grit my teeth and I see it in his eyes… it was him. He just keeps looking at me. He dares to look into my eyes. I'm hurting the palms of my hands. My squeezing my fist so hard, my nails are cutting into my skin. The blood collects in my angry fists. So I grab him. And squeeze as hard as I can. I hear cracking and shouts and yelling but I just keep squeezing as hard as I can.

"You! You did this!" I scream as some scientists try to subdue me. I don't feel their claws trying to rip me off Dr. Peppermint. I don't hear him screaming. I don't feel him breaking my arms as I strangle him. And soon I don't feel anything.

* * *

I wake in some kind of capsule. Dr. Peppermint still has some of my blood on him, plus some bandages for his cracks.

I slide down onto the ground of the chamber and sob. I, honestly, don't know where this is coming from. I don't know why I'm crying. But I am and everyone is staring at me.

Dr. Peppermint's voice booms, amplified through a speaker inside my cage.

"It was Lemongrab. He gassed the Tree house. Thankfully, you got out but the effects of the Jaundice are different for dogs. Apparently, he turns into a cube." He says and laughs. It feels like he's laughing at me.

"I don't remember that." Hiding in a shadow, a tiny person seemed to have been listening on. In a high pitch voice, the small blue gumdrop lady concludes. "You are suffering from amnesia, Finn. And possibly some other head injuries. It may affect you're personality and blur your thinking."

"What happened?"

"You must have passed out. You should rest now. You really should, Finn."

I look behind me and realize that I'm not in a chamber. The wall I thought was there is gone. It's a bedroom. I might ask why Dr. Peppermint has this in his lab. But I don't. I climb into bed and tuck myself in. They might be watching me sleep, but I close my eyes and leave the laboratory.

* * *

I'm being rolled down a long hallway. I'm still a bit drowsy but I'm awake enough to see that the walls are yellow, so are the floors… and so is the person rolling me down corridor. I try to scream but my cry is muffled by a cloth shoved down my throat. I struggle to break free of the lemon rope that binds my body. Nothing. I'm blind folded. I'm tied. I'm not going to escape.

The yellow person continues to wheel me through the never-ending hallway. I can't even turn my head but in the corner of my eye, I think I can see glass. Glass panels, and a door. They come in pairs. I see a glimpse of red through one of the windows and I realize that… it's Flame Princess.

I use that to fuel my rage against my bed. I try to scream and fight my way to her. I want to go to her. I want to kiss her lips and feeling the burns that follow. But I also want to do the same with Princess Bubblegum. We pass her door and I feel that I'm almost unworthy of Flame Princess's presence, even in the current circumstances. Right next to hers is my door I think, because the yellowed person pushes my bed inside.

The interior is much like a sound booth with controls and buttons of every sort. He rolls me into what would be the sound proof room. I've seen one of these before. Lemongrab used these as torture machines, blaring noises into the subject's ears, causing so much pain. They cried and begged for help. Lemongrab just watched them die. I guess I know what it means for me.

The person locks the door behind him, leaving me all to myself. But, no, I don't think I'm by myself. I turn my head as far as I can and see something move in the shadows of the sound booth. He emerges from the darkness walks up to the window and faces me.


	6. Nightmare Fuel

"Why." I can't see his face. But I know who he is. Anyone would know.

"Why." He says again. His voice echoes over the intercom. Yet still, it's low almost like a growl with a bit of undesirable sort of sprinkled in. I guess, that's expected.

"Why." He says once again. Even though I'm restrained and really in no position to think this at all, I can't help but think that he's droning trying to be dramatic and suspenseful when really, I'm just waiting for him to finish. I wait for a while but then, I think he's about to say something else, the yellow devil.

"Why are you still alive, Finn the human?" You know, this really is stupid. It's completely stupid. It's infinitely stupid. Why can't he just kill me? Why can't he just get it over with? Well, I guess that's Lemongrab for you. All about creepy and torture and -

"BOO!" The figure yells as he pops out of the dark, revealing himself rather blatantly.

"HAHA! IT'S ME! HAHA! THE ICE KING! LIKE A BABY BIRDIE HATCHING INTO THE WORLD, I'M HERE, BABY! I'M HERE!" He squeals with laughter.

"Do you even know how much glob I went through to get here? I'll tell you, it was a lot." I just stare at him, not even know what exactly to say. He's just reminded me why I hate him so very very much. And it's almost consuming my entire existence, my hate for him.

"You know I once had a friend who'd traveled across all of Ooo, from lands you couldn't imagine, lands of blue fire and orange skies… all to see me… "He began to babble. "And boy was he disappointed! I mean so was I. No offense to anyone but I like my lovers feminine, if you ask me. And you know, even after all that he still tried to kiss me! Soooooooo... I froze him in a block of ice and locked him in my basement. I mean I'm not sure if he's still there anymore. He might've melted him self out. I mean he was made of lava. Or maybe he turned to stone. I dunno. "But-"

And I just start screaming at him with all my might. Even if Ooo is being taken over by a stupid virus, even if PB's gotten infected, even if the world is ending, Ice King still has to be… Ice King.

I ask him to please "SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE!" and to keep his gay adventures to himself , if he could ever grant me such serenity.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, friend. I'm here to help. Peppermint Butler sent me. He told me to tell you to—"

Ice King finally shuts up just as his shoe claps onto the dark yellow floor, sounding like a resounding gong, echoing through the long corridor. He slowly takes another step and another, walking ever so slowly, toward the end of the hallway, toward my door, toward me. We both just stare at the door as if we are waiting for someone to burst in and as if that someone is so awful, so rotten and vile that it gives even the Ice King, Lord of the Cold, chills down his spine.

We wait for him to come, frozen as statues and hear his footsteps come closer and closer but he never comes. The intercom is still on so I can hear each step and it just makes my blood-curdle. Can you imagine that? Blood curdling?

Think of milk, after it's expired, all gelatin like and gooey, an opaque residue of oil sitting at the bottom. Now imagine that I've put some red dye in it and it almost absorbs the whole glass, consuming all in its path, leaving the contents a horrible vermilion. That, my dear reader, is what is happening in my veins right now. That, is what he's done to me.

He's at the door now, I can feel it. Yet, Ice King, the twit, is still frozen like an ice sculpture. He's going to be seen. I want to warn him. But I think he knows.

I'm so terrified of him now. After all I've seen and heard of him, even though I've seen him already and defeated him, I don't think pranks are going to cut it. He's slowly turning the handle now and the panging in my heart is getting faster and faster, so fast, I think it might explode.

The door creaks open and the figure casts a tall eerie shadow on the space in door. The shadow moves closer and is soon over the control panel now.

After first I don't think it's him. His skin is pale, white as snow, and he's bald. He's in the same thing he always wears, that black uniform. And his nose, I think, has gotten shorter, more rounded, a lot like—

"Finn." He interrupts me.

"Tell me, Finn. Is it true? Am I… Have I…"

I nod in response. He is. He has. Lemon grab, the creepy creature that hides in your closet at night, the boogie man that runs on nightmare fuel… is…

**_Human._**


End file.
